Forums Writing Chapter 8 Pitch to Bicycle Times

Pitch to Bicycle Times

Hey there,

I also had trouble with the Press Trips aspect of this writing assignment. Any advice on where to find more posted would be much appreciated. However, I lucked out on finding a perfect potential assignment – a segway from my bike industry work to writing and travel writing specifically while attending Interbike, a tradeshow in Vegas last week. I wrote up a pitch, see below. I didn’t do a hard sell on the online aspects of my writing career because this is for print, and I happen to have met the editors and don’t think they’d be keen on me playing the numbers game up front. I do mention my interest in promoting it…anyway, let me know what you think as it will be my first official pitch ever and I’m ready to get into it! (Potential burns and all!)

Assignment 8: Bicycle Times Pitch

Password: Pitched

Thanks,

M.L.Appel

View Profile 2012-09-27 01:49:55 PDT

Hey Michele,

Sounds like it’s right up your alley. The one glaring problem with this pitch, however, is that it’s much too long. Scale it down to three smaller paragraphs at the very most, and you’ll be fine.

What can you trim? You repeat the DZR thing and your experience, you can scale back the info on your online following to simply state the bare facts. If you over-explain, it sounds like you’re trying to compensate. Remove the paragraph starting “I hope you can see how…” entirely. Narrow your article idea. Tell them what you hope to accomplish in just three lines/sentences. It’s a good practice.

Hope that helps!

CW

View Profile 2012-09-29 21:00:05 PDT