Assignment #5 Bio and pitching editors
For readability on my blog I’ve personalized this assignment into a “journey entry type blog posting”.
Would be pleased to hear any comments and feedback.
Your bio reads more like an “About” page than a bio. There’s def not enough space on any article page to include a bio of that length, so I’d cut it down to: After years in a finance and community development capacity, Scott followed his dream of becoming a world traveller. Then a line about where you are now, what you’re doing, and a link to you blog. Interested readers will make their way to find you to learn more!
Pitch #1: Grab our attention with something other than “Shark fear is a particularly wide spread fear.” That’s a pretty obvious comment. Loved the story about the 10 year old squealing so loud pitch, you and the shark both swam away. Now THAT’S a fun lead-in. I don’t know if it’s outlined specially in NatGeo’s pitch guidelines, but if not, don’t break the story idea down paragraph by paragraph. Instead, tell us (in a very succinct way) what you’ll be including in the story. It’d make a very interesting read!
Pitch #2: Same goes. Draw us in with an opener like “I once saw a girl…” (insert something ridiculous.) I’m not sure if this would make a great fit for Lonely Planet, but then again, I’m not as familiar with their online work as their guidebook material. Don’t say you’re going to write “smartly” about anything — we should know by your pitch!
Pitch #3: Hilarious. “broke a tambourine” — did you mean break OUT a tambourine? This would be a great read. “Ashram etiquette.” And kudos for thinking travel outside the regular travel magazines!
Yes, an about page! I guess I wasn’t sure what I was writing really but that describes it perfectly and I think for my own sake I needed to take the process from that angle first before coming upon this for my bio:
Scott ventures into the ancient and modern sites of the planet with equal enthusiasm pushing personal limits of exploration. His natural curiosity leads him to into foreign lands with a desire to travel sustainably, leaving things as he found them or better off.
I made some changes to the openings of the pitches with your suggestions and for #3 pitch, yes… she actually broke the tambourine (as in smashed it into disfunction) who would have thought that even possible.