Forums Writing Chapter 5 5: Bio and pitches

5: Bio and pitches

Hi!

Here’s my 5th assignment.

Assignment 5

View Profile 2012-11-09 09:29:23 PST

Hey Simone,

Your bio is fun, but a bit too long! How about cutting it down to something like:

Simone is a South African with an impractical Bachelor’s degree of Languages and Ancient Cultures. She hasn’t traveled much, but loves the journey. It has been suggested she wear a cat bell.

(Love the cat bell bit.)

Pitch 1:

This works, but needs a quicker lead-in and a more interesting hook. How about starting off with an interesting fact/tidbit about the town? You can add the “Matador Trips doesn’t have any articles on Stellenbosch” later, once you’ve gotten our attention. Avoid vague descriptions like “beautiful, student-centered town.”

Pitch 2:

Are you sure this one hasn’t already been covered on the Network? Korea is written about often at Matador! This may make a better fit somewhere else.

Pitch 3:

This sounds incredibly interesting, but I absolutely have no idea what the “Mannam organization” or the “Shinchonji cult” is. Can you explain, in a line or two? Don’t assume your editor knows as much about your part of the world as you do…that’s why we want you writing for us! Then immediately tell us how you got tangled up in the whole thing. This one needs to have a deep personal element.

Hope that helps,

CW

View Profile 2012-11-11 22:29:20 PST

Hi Candice!

Thanks for all your help! I’ve updated everything except for pitch 2- just saw that an article on learning Korean for free has recently been added to the website. Got to put my thinking cap back on!

I don’t think I’ve quite got the hang of writing pitches yet… I added information on Mannam and Shinchonji, but now I think the pitch is WAY to long. :-/

Thanks again!

Simone

View Profile 2012-11-14 05:43:09 PST